Post celebration~~

As i promise before, today is the day for me to remember our moments together. I know this blog is kind of quiet lately but i will not break my promise. So here it is.

This is the 2nd part of your birthday celebration and the reason i call it a post celebration is because we celebrated your birthday a day later. It is on Sunday and we spend the day mostly at One Utama.

As Im trying my best to recall what happen that day , i want to say sorry in advance if i do miss out some parts of the story as this is the side of my story. It maybe different if it was you who are telling the story.

As you were a bit down by me for not celebrating your birthday as i have family commitment, i repay my fault by spending the whole day with you. We started off by playing softball. You were great that day and almost beat me in terms of how many did the bat hits the ball. =D. We do spend a lot of time there as we play both softball and baseball. My original plan is to treat you with A&W in Subang but you insist on me cooking for you.

As it was your birthday , i fulfill your wish by cooking the simplest dish that can be made by a guy. A spaghetti. I took you to my place and lucky for me there is no one around. So i can plan anything without being disturb by my housemates. As you were told to stay in my room until dinner , i quickly go buy some groceries and do some cooking. I managed to finish my cook on time and i add up the spice of the event by lighting some candles at the table. From the look on your face , i think i manage to surprise you but we never know if you are just showing some appreciation for me. Huhu. The presentation is good but not the food. I didn't soften the noodle to long and we end up not finishing the food because of the noodle.

That was the first time i cook for a girl. I know it didn't end up well but surely i will be determined to make it right if there is 2nd chance. Haha. We had a great day and it was only our 2nd day being together. It was a great start and i couldn't be happier at that time. I miss those moments.

wide smile

neither mad nor sad

im not mad at you.but i mad at someone else.im just a bit sad when u were at he/she side which was broke my heart.totally.again like you had did before when u were at tra's side.




sincerely.
big eyes

Confuse ....

Im not sure what had just happened.
And im sure i will not get the chance to know what happened.
But whatever did happen do make you mad.
I dont like seeing you get mad or sad.

If this problems involves me, im really sorry. I dont know what i did but the only thing i know is it makes you mad. I want you to be happy. You have a new life now and you are having a great time. I dont want your past to disturb the happiness you have now. If it involves my friends, im sorry on behalf of them. Maybe they are going overboard for what happened between us.

I love you. I would not deny it. I can only say i half move on. Sometimes im happy that you are happy with your life nowadays but sometimes i do feel sad thinking that your happiness is not with me. But life goes on. If we really love someone, we should just think about their happiness. Even if it doesnt involve ourself. Sorry if my existence in your life lately makes your newly life less happy than before. I will try to control myself. As usual, i will do what i should do. Wait wait wait until the time is right for us. If there will never be us again, its ok. Whatever i do , you have nothing to worry. You just go on with your life. Let me handle it myself. I will still take care of you from far away. And you can always find me if you need anything.

Im sorry and I miss you.

wide smile

Where It All Started

It was the night before your birthday , which was on friday night . Im in Shah Alam while you were at Cameron Highlands. The plan was to surprise you on your birthday. You knew that im coming there but you were just not sure which day. I tried to invite friends to join me but end up with just Fizie to accompany me. If Fizie was not around im not sure what will happen to me because it was a long journey , the road was so scary because of the darkness , there was only one car throughout the climb of Cameron , the zig-zag road of Cameron and lastly because its already midnight.

During the journey , we text each other and you still did not know im on the way to Cameron. There was one area where there is no signal for maxis and to make it worse , i was in that area when the time is 12 am. You tried to call me but failed. Im afraid that you will be mad at me and straight away go to bed as it is your birthday but i cant be reached. After a few minutes , i managed to get signal again and straight away give some good excuses(i think it was good). Lucky for me that you accept my excuses.

Fizie and I reach the apartment where you were staying around 1.30am. I wanted to surprise you in front of your apartment but the gate was closed. So i had to call you. At first you didnt believe me but once you go out to your balcony you saw me in front of the gate. The celebration was simple though as there is only me , you , Fizie and your brother. There was only cake and a white rose for you. just as what you wish for. I wish i stayed longer in Cameron but i had to go back in the morning. Maybe there will be another day or maybe not. We never know. It was a great experience for me because this is where it all started. Our first day in relationship. Thanks for giving me the chance and also giving a hint to ask you to be my girlfriend.

wide smile

24th

Every 24th of each month , it was suppose to be our anniversary. Eventhough we are not together anymore , i still want to cherish the day my way. This will be the day for me to remember you by writing a blog about any of our memories together. It can be anything from events to pictures. This is not a sign of me not moving on with my life. This is just to show respect to you and appreciation of our time together.

who?
wide smile

THIS IS YOU

whatever i do.
whatever i did.
whatever i didn't do.
is all because of you.

i give u all my respects when im with you.

why dont u, for once, respect me for who i am.

thank you for wishing my mum.



me,
big eyes

Congratulation!

Congrats on your new relationship. i never thought it could be this quick. Im sure you have think about it deeply. I wish for your happiness till the end of time. I'm just disappointed that you didnt do as what you promised. Im quite surprised about it. Just remember one thing , whatever you do or any information about you will never go unnoticed from me. Just dont try to make it a secret as  i will always know bout it. I will wait for my time to come. We will still be friends. It just that we never know when. You will have all the time you want. Once you think that you are ok with me, then talk to me again. I will be there anytime and anywhere for you. Taking care of you from wherever i am. Im not changing my numbers. So you will know how to contact me. An advice from me , be truth to yourself. Its not good lying to yourself. Till then , see you when the time comes. Hope that will be the promise that you will not break. Congrats again. Send my regards to him.

Sincerely,
wide smile

Big Eyes .

Whatever you were going through
it was beyond anything of my experience
and beyond my ability to fix
i had no right to judge you

If i choose to stay with you
knowing the risk and hurtness
all i can do is give love and respect
and see how the story will end .

sincerely,
wide smile

disebalik.

saya tidak lagi merindui awak.
saya tidak lagi mencintai awak.
saya tidak lagi mengambil berat mengenai awak.
sebab saya sudah berubah.

saya sudah punya cinta baru.
saya sudah punya matlamat baru.
saya sudah punya diari baru.
sebab saya sudah berubah.

saya akan pergi.
saya akan lari.
saya akan menjauh.
demi awak mendapat hidup yang lebih sempurna.

maaf.
kerana awak masih dihati saya.





sincerely,
big eyes

Quotes 2 ~~~~

" What can I say, we have so many memories... so many things to look back on. I learned so much from you, gained so much. I loved the way you made me laugh, I hated the way you made me cry, but what I hated most was when you said good-bye "



" No matter how hard you try to get over someone, you will still have some sort of feeling for them, remembering the ways things used to be, and how they are now. And you sometimes hope that the new person in their life was still you, and everything was how it used be, erasing all the bad things that happened. Time is supposed to make things better, but in love it doesn't. Although we have been apart for a while, and now you have diferent loves in your life, I stil can't help wondering how your life is, and when I catch you glancing at me, I can't help but wonder if your heart beats a little faster, as mine does when I see you "


love ,
wide smile

Better Together

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at them stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll Sit beneath the mango tree now

It's always better when we're together
we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.
 
 
love ,
wide smile

Thanks For Your Support

Im glad that i have lots of super-cool friends who has been supporting me throughout my mourning period . Without them im sure i will not recover myself from this problem easily . Kurni , Nisa , Nisaa' , Syairul , Eli , Marul , Sadiq , Fizie , Nuzul , Akmal , Yus , Wanie , Sam and many more . You give me strength when i really need it and finally thanks to Miss Big Eyes herself as well for changing your mind towards a better future . We never know what our path will lead us to the future but we must always hope it will bring good to both of us . I will not make you regret on your decision and i will use it wisely this time . You may not see the outcome of your decision now but i promise that when the time has come for us to meet in the future , you will see a better me and i hope at that time i will be the guy for you .Towards a better future and bestfriends forever . 1437 .

love ,
wide smile

Quotes~~~~

" We have to forgive people because by forgiving , we will receive forgiveness "

No one is perfect in this world . That is why we should learn on how to accept people's strengths and weaknesses . By doing that we will get happiness because we understand the other person's ability . We will take advantage of their strength and help them on their weaknesses. That is how we should live our life to the fullest . So when one person makes a mistake , we should forgive them . By that only the person will learn from their mistake and be a better person and when it is our turn in making mistakes, the other person should forgive us too . It is like give and take .

" People afraid of what they do not know will happen "

Everyone is afraid of what we do not know . We can only hope for a better future . But the truth is , what we do in the current life is the one that guide us to the unknown future . The future is already set for us but we choose our own destiny . We guide ourself towards the future . So if we want the future to be what we wanted, guide yourself through it. We must believe in what we do and we must hope for the best . Fate do play a part but the truth is , ourself is the main actor .

ps - Do what you think is the best for you but do it only after you have really think about it inside out . I always support your decision unless it is bad for you .  Miss You .

love ,
wide smile

Untitled

“If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was totally out of my control.”

Since the day i met you , i knew i like you but i never thought that i have the chance to be together with you and when that chance becomes reality , i was totally in seventh heaven . All the times that we spend together was so precious to me and i will never forget it till the end of time . How i wish we can spend our time just like we used to . But everything has changed since you ask for your freedom . I knew i did do wrong somewhere in our relationship . Maybe i did not treat you good enough or maybe i just did not protect you good enough  from everyone in this world . I knew it was my fault . Supposely when this happens, i should buck up myself and show to you how strong i am to face all this challenges and fix all my problems so that we can be together again . To show you that im good enough to be your partner in life again .But miserably , i fail myself . Im not stong enough for this .

Since last month , nothing good happen to me . I played badly in my basketball tournament , i injured my knee , i injured my ankle , my dad admitted to hospital , i hardly walk till now , i lost my handphone and so much more . I lost my focus on anything and everything . This is not a good sign for me and now i may not sit for my final exam . I just do not know what happened to me and why this is happening . Im writing this in a blog because this is the only way i can get your attention . Im not your No 1 in life anymore but i hope i meant something to you. I need someone to talk and someone to care . I just do not know who should i go to . I do hope for you to be with me again in a relationship but for now , even as bestfriends is good enough to me . All i need is time for us to talk so that i can share my problems and you can share yours.

ps - some of the things that i wrote kind of "merepek" but i just dont know how to express it clearly ..

love ,
wide smile

Scene 1 :

 i maybe not the one u looking for because u maybe not the one i need
 yes
 i really appreciate u in my life              
 yet im happy to be with u all this while
 i dont want to end it
 i want to go to the better stage
 where i wont facing this all nonsence
 how i wish we were happy
 n will be happy
 til the end
 but what we faced rite now
 its too huge
 
This was like a few months ago . We were fighting at this time . What im trying to highlight is you did said that the problem we faced during that time was huge . But in the end , we managed to solve it and keep our relationship for a few more months . It should be just the same as now . No problem is too big for us to solve .You want to go to the better stage , so do i . So , lets do it together .
 
 
Scene 2 :
 
someone told me
i can get what i want if i wont tell them what exactly what i want

Are you doing this right now? , You are not telling me anything and you assume that i can give you what you want? . Im so blur right now . With all that happen now , i dont know where am i heading now. Im sorry if i disappointed you in many ways but as you know this month is totally bad for me . You are my only cure for this .



Dear , everytime when its our anniversary , we will fight and you always be mad at me . But everytime that happen , we will find the best way to solve it . Why dont this time , we really solve it from top to bottom so that from now on , we will hardly fight with each other and when it is time for our anniversary , we will celebrate it happily . I know it is the first time i wish our anniversary but you can see the changes right? . We will take it one by one till everything is perfect for us .

love ,
wide smile

My Only One

Every morning i wake up and and hope you will text me and say everything is ok and we are still together . All the problems and the reason for this split was just a lie or it is just a test for me from you . But maybe what i hope for is too much . I dreamt of you every night . There has not been a single night when i sleep without dreaming of you and i hardly sleep every day . It makes me sad to wake up and realised that you are out of my hand .

After what we had been through all this time , we should be strong and unite with each other . Whenever problems occur , you know who to go to and where to find me . You know who you can depend on . I know i makes mistakes all the time but you do realised that i will try all i can to fix it back for us . Nothing in this world we can not face or fix . There must be something that can change anything . You just have to open your eyes and heart to know it . We have all the support we need . Especially family and friends . I will never give up on us . All the promises we made together , we will fulfill it . It is just a matter of time . I know there is a path for us to find that happiness together in the future . We just need to find it . Whatever challenges that i have to face , i will go through it easily . As long as i get you back in my life .

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH , NAZDIANNIE NAZRI ....

love ,
wide smile

MOCCA - I Remember

I remember...The way you glanced at me, yes I remember

I remember...When we caught a shooting star, yes I remember
I remember.. All the things that we shared, and the promise we made, just you and I
I remember.. All the laughter we shared, all the wishes we made, upon the roof at dawn

Do you remember..?

When we were dancing in the rain in that december
And I remember..When my father thought you were a burglar
I remember.. All the things that we shared, and the promise we made, just you and I
I remember.. All the laughter we shared, all the wishes we made, upon the roof at dawn

I remember..
 The way you read your books,

yes I remember
The way you tied your shoes,

yes I remember
The cake you loved the most,

yes I remember
The way you drank you coffee,

I remember
The way you glanced at me,

yes I remember
When we caught a shooting star,

yes I remember
When we were dancing in the rain in that december
And the way you smile at me,

YES I REMEMBER


love ,

wide smile

Derita Merindu

-----(@



Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal
Bila aku gunakan, kau yang menyangkal
Bagaimana nak kekal
Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda
Bila aku gunakan, kau yang tak percaya
Bagaimana nak bahagia


Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu
Tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa


Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya
Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa
Bagaimana hendak ku lupa
bayangan wajahmu selalu di depan mata
harum baumu masih dapat ku hidu
Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu
Jikalau setiap hari merindu
Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu sebenarnya bahagia..
Aku pilih derita..


Mungkinkah esok atau lusa walau biarpun lama
Akan ku biar tiada ku tetap kan setia
Entah bila akan tiba sampai jua harimu yang sama
Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah


Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula

Seandainya kau berada di depan mata
Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata
Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu
Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu
Apalagi memandangku
Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan kau mainkan perasaan
Begitu mudah kau ucapkan terimalah saja kenyataan..
Aku masih terkilan

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa


Jika kau dapat memahami hati seorang perindu
Baru kau tahu derita hatiku
Jika suatu hari nanti giliran kau merindu
Baru kau ingat derita diriku
Segala yang berlaku bukan kemahuanku
Apa gunanya bahgia

Jikalau bahagia bersamamu hanyalah untuk sementara waktu

Aku pilih derita merinduimu

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa






Big Eyes

nAiD

ini bukan saya.





saya tidak ingat kamu.kawan.keluarga.saya juga tidak ingat diri sendiri.














saya tidak suka.








Big Eyes

Memoirs~~

As we facing 2010 , i will like to take this opportunity to show what we had been through together in 2009. Certain moments of us did not have pictures to show but im sure it will always be in our mind.

18th April 2009

- This was our first time hanging out with each other including Azri and Raihan

- We went to watch movie and end up hanging out at Bukit Ampang from midnite til 7am

21st April 2009

- At murni while waiting for food and she was busy studying for test.lol.

- This was after watching FlyFm movie with Kurni and Raihan

25th April 2009

- One of the tiring night we been out together

- We went to Genting and Taman Tasik Titiwangsa with Azri ,Fize and Raihan

1st May 2009

- At Dian's cousin reception in Rawang

- Accompanied by Chan

2nd May 2009

- Overnight to Penang with Azri and Fize

- This was at Penang's beach and the picture was edited by Dian

10th June 2009

- Trip to Johor consists of Kluang,Kota Tinggi and Ulutiram

- Accompanied by Nazim and Azman

18th June 2009

- Have fun with animals at Zoo Negara

- Joined by Nazim, Huril, Azman and Azri

29th June 2009

- FlyFm Playa Got Game competition at The Curve

- Participated by Fize, Nazim and Azman

1st July 2009

- Picnic at Sungai Sendat with Nazim,Azman and Huril

- This picture was in front of man made lake(if im not wrong)

love,

wide smile

Kuala Lumpur VS Brussel

sejak kamu jauh,saya sangat rindu kamu.

bila kita gaduh.saya takut kamu tinggalkan saya.saya takut kamu lupakan saya.

tapi saya paling takut kamu tipu saya.




apa kata kamu balik? ='(



saya sangat rindu kamu REDZA SHAHID MD RIDZUAN 




big eyes